NASHVILLE, Tenn. (WTVF) — An online diary apparently kept by the Antioch High School shooter shows he idolized some of the world’s most notorious mass murderers and had a goal of killing “at least 10 people” to establish his own place among them, according to a document reviewed by NewsChannel 5 Investigates.
The 288-page diary, beginning on Oct. 18, tracks 17-year-old Solomon Henderson’s thoughts as he planned his attack and suggests he began spiraling emotionally as he got closer to his target date. In the end, he describes feeling rushed as he began to experience “fear of being fedded before doing anything.”
That is an apparent reference to be busted by police.
The document, which contains multiple selfie photos of Henderson, was captured by independent researchers not long after Wednesday’s deadly shooting. It was posted in a form that could be edited and had been vandalized, but researchers were able to restore what appears to have been the original.
Metro Nashville police have not confirmed the authenticity of the document.
Among other revelations contained in the diary:
- Screenshots included within the document show that Henderson had an X account that was twice suspended for violating rules that prohibit posts glorifying the perpetrators of violent attacks. It is not clear whether X ever reported those violations to local police.
- Henderson appears to describe an incident where authorities almost caught him with a gun. He wrote, “I had my house raided once they found a gun it was mine LOL. My dad took the blame…. My dad he’s cool. I hate my mother doe.”
- There are extended notations about how he might build a bomb. On Dec. 12, Henderson posted that he had purchased “shrapnel” and included photos of a “nails, tacks and braids kit.”
- Henderson accuses his mother of being abusive, claiming that “when I was 7 or 9 she put a gun to my head saying ‘she could take me out.’” He describes other forms of alleged abuse and says he reported it to his father who “pretended nothing was happening.” Those allegations could not be independently confirmed.
- He contemplates killing his parents, especially his mother. “I should just go with my gun and shoot her while she sleeps in her bed before Zero Day. Maybe I should set up bombs near JFK Middle School and Elementary school near my house as a diversion. To delay the police.” Later, he writes: “I don’t think I can kill my family.”
- Among the photos posted by Henderson are selfies where he poses with an image of Adolf Hitler and where he has his fingers shaped in a white-power symbol. There are photos of him wearing a T-shirt for a neo-Nazi band. And he includes photos as he contemplates what kind of shirt he wants to wear for the shooting.
In his first entry on Oct. 18, Henderson writes: “I’m burning with hate. Hate will change the world. Race mixing is a sin against God.”
“Only the ill mentally will praise me after my death and the only good n****r is a dead n****r, which includes me,” an early diary entry notes.
He also writes, “I wish I was white” and describes himself as worthy of the “Self-Hating N****r Award.”
On Nov. 8, he contemplates the best time to carry out a school shooting as potentially being around lunchtime or at graduation.
And he talks about the sometimes-heavy police presence at school.
“So many f***ing retards at my school making threats which increases security aka more pig/guards,” another entry complains.
“I wish I could talk to these clowns and teach them how to actually plan and attack.”
An entry on Jan. 1 shows he’s debating whether to commit the shooting when he is 17 or wait until he is 18 “to get better equipment like gopro and better guns.”
The next day, there is this entry: “Everything is faster approaching. It’s weird knowing that I may or may not be dying this year.”
That was posted next to an image from a movie that depicts a shooting in a school cafeteria.
On Jan. 3, there is this post:
“I can't do this anymore though. I'm slipping. I can't keep walking through the same days and the same rooms. I can't keep taking the same drugs and having the same dreams. I can't keep hating the same people. I can't smile at the same faces.
“I’m so tired. I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep waking up to the same house. I can’t keep trying the same things to trick myself into wanting this. I can’t keep trying to want this. I can’t keep trying to want to live. I’ve never wanted to live. I never will. I can’t keep coming on here and whining.”
Then, on Jan. 16, there is this entry: “The shooting will happen next Thursday. This is a complete failure and not the original plan I had. Due my incompetent (sic), the law and family issues.”
On Jan. 21, Henderson added a selfie of himself in what appears to be a Junior ROTC uniform.
“Tomorrow is the day,” the entry reads. “I was planning on Thursday but I need to speed things up. I don’t have a lot of time. Holy sh*t I’m nervous, scared and excited at the same time.”
He noted that he was “scared of failing to kill myself then going jail.”
One of the last entries is another selfie with the caption, “4 hours to go.”